Dear me,

I’m writing this because right now, everything is still very new. I’m only a few days sober, and I don’t know exactly what the next few months or years are going to look like. But I do know that I want things to change. Not just the drinking and drugs. I want to change the way I live my life.

I want you to be strong again. Get back to the gym, eat well, sleep properly and take care of your body. Not because you need to be perfect, but because you know how much better you feel when you’re taking care of yourself.

I want you to be a better son and brother. Be kinder. Be present. Call Dad. Spend time with your sister. Let them experience the good parts of you too, instead of always having to worry about you. You’ve had a glimpse of what life could feel like without the people you love most, and I hope you never forget how much they mean to you.

Keep succeeding at work. Be ambitious. Be proud of yourself. But do it on your terms. No job, title, client, deadline or work event is worth your sobriety. Success means very little if you lose yourself getting there.

Go back to your home group. Build relationships there. Go to AA. Talk to people. Listen. Help someone when you’re eventually able to. Build a community around yourself and stop believing you have to figure everything out alone.

Read again. Write. Find hobbies. Go outside. Travel. Spend time with your dog. Learn things. Have quiet weekends. Find out what you actually enjoy when you’re not trying to escape from yourself.

Most importantly, don’t expect yourself to become this person overnight. You’re going to have difficult days. You’re going to get things wrong. Just keep moving toward the life you’re describing here.

I hope one day you come back and read this and realize that somewhere along the way, these stopped being goals and simply became your life.

That’s the person I hope you’re becoming.

Love,
me